"SNOOTY COMEBACKS"

I think all knitters can totally relate to this. You are sitting quietly in the waiting room of the (insert place of destination here) knitting happily away, when someone comes by and either asks or says something really stupid like the following:
"That would drive me crazy! I don't have time for anything like that. I just don't have the patience to something like that. Why bother making one when you can go to Wal-Mart and buy one?"
the list goes on but that is just a few.

Well, here are some incredibly, wonderful comebacks taken from another knitter's blog that you will totally appreciate. (If you're a knitter anyway.) Here is the link and here are her witty and snooty comebacks!

http://www.home.earthlink.net/~jkoster/id3.html

Why can't you knit that for ME? Socks are cheaper at Wal-Mart! Only poor people knit! It's homemade--yuk!

Yes, we've all been there. Here's a list of catchy comebacks for those times when you want to leave someone in no doubt how you feel--about their stupid questions and remarks. Warning: these are NOT nice and polite!

“It’s my hobby. You know, like golf. Only it’s more productive and more relaxing, but probably NOT less expensive. Plus, I hang out with more interesting people and we dress better.” Of course, some of my favorite relatives golf, but they can’t be perfect—even if they are my relatives.

“Do you ask people why they golf, play the piano, sculpt or paint? Then don’t ask me the same question.”

“Yes, I’m sure you don’t have the time. You won’t MAKE the time (or choice, sacrifice, commitment, etc.).”

“You have to be able to FINISH what you start.”

“I’m sorry. Did you say something? I just felt a rush of hot air.”

“It’s fun to do it to annoy people who ask stupid questions about why people knit.”

“I am hoping Julia Roberts will spot me on location and put me in her next movie.”

“I’m auditioning for Desperate Housewives next week and I need to practice.”

"The Queen of England knits. It must not be THAT low class."

“WalMart doesn’t carry cashmere sweaters and custom-fit seamless socks.”

“SOME of us are talented enough to work with our hands.”

“You DON”T? You CAN’T!” Then laugh at them.

“Why knit? That’s so FUNNY!”

“This is a first--I’ve only had IGNORANT people ask me that before.”

“I HAVE people to love and knit for.” Requires a sneer at the end.

“You don’t have time to relax? Sounds like you need to get a life!”

“Yes, I am sure watching TV is very time consuming for you.” (LOVE this one!)

“It’s part of my housework avoidance plan.” (my personal favorite)

“Maybe YOU want to look like everyone else!”
“My knitting isn’t made in China by prisoners or Malaysia by child labor. How about your clothes?”

“It occupies my hands so I don’t throttle rude people.” Be sure to look straight at the questioner.

“How is knitting a bigger waste of my time than explaining it to people like you?”

“When I have my mid-life crisis, I can switch to leathers and a Harley, and it will be less expensive. My husband will be SO pleased!” (ok, this one made me laugh and snort!)

"My parole officer said it would help steady my nerves." Thanks for this one go to Gail, who saw it on KnitU.
"It would drive you crazy? Good thing I already AM crazy!" Try to look like you might also be willing to demonstrate. Or add, "At least, that's what the doctors think." This was inspried by Donna in SC from the Sock Knitters list.

Thanks to Denise for these. Please check out her BLOG she has great stuff there.

I usually am very nice and say something like, "It's cheaper then PROZAC." or "I have to keep my hands busy or I'll go crazy."

You know, I guess people can read, but who wants to sit in the doctor's office, dentist, orthodontist, church, sporting event with your nose in a book. I guess you would have to be introverted.

Not me, I like to be sociable and when I am around people, like at church or home school events, I don't want to be rude. Besides, most books people read are for entertainment, not quantum physics, you know?

When I knit, I am actually making something functional, beautiful and practical. I can also TALK while I knit. OMGosh! My lady friends and I have had so much fun at church, laughing and knitting and talking. Can you do that with your nose stuck in a book? I don't think so. Besides, most of the time, I see people trying to read a 2 year old Parents magazine at the Dr.'s and you KNOW they are well past the toddler years with their kids. LOL

I guess what irks me, are the people who try and put you down for knitting. I am not the challenged one here, I mean, it takes some brain matter to knit. But most times people blow you and your knitting off like some sort of repugnant leper. How dare I sit there, blissfully knitting away while they try and read a 3 year old magazine? Who do I think I am?

OK, so I am spending my husband's hard earned money on yarn. He would much rather me do that, then spend it on big, gaudy jewelry at one of those cheesy parties. At least, when I come home with yarn he doesn't ROLL his eyes like he would if I brought home another pair of shoes that I will only wear once because they were "too cute and on sale". I never hear him say, "Sweetheart, don't you have enough yarn?" Or "How much did that cost?" (He knows he's going to get socks, or mittens or something good from it!)

I would encourage all non knitting persons to look at knitting as an art. It is an art. Did you know, that during the 13th and 14th century, knitting was done by MEN? They would be apprenticed for 7 years, intern under a master knitter for another 4-7 years, then after submitting a detailed planned and final garment to the masters of the Guild, were they then made masters of the art. There are pictures of men standing casually while knitting. The yarn held in something resembling a tool belt. Amazing huh?

You should envy that blissful knitter sitting on the bus or at the drs. office, not try to mock them publicly. I will also warn you, there is a bolder and smarter generation of knitters out there, who are likely not to tolerate rude comments and will likely make YOU feel like the repugnant leper.

My advice? Buy some knitting needles, yarn and get someone to teach you how to knit. You'll be addicted in no time, that, or give the knitter some money to buy some more yarn! LOL

Gotta go, I here a pair of socks calling to me!
katcha