2 Days and Counting

Well, I think I only have a few more more loads of laundry to finish but a ton more stuff to get finished. Looks like a long day for me again today.

I am looking forward to our roa trip immensley. I get to sit back and do some crocheting which is only second to handspinning for me as therapy. I calm down and feel so at peace behind my spinning wheel, but since I can not haul a spinning wheel in the front seat of the van, LOL, crocheting will have to do. For the particular project I am working on I am using store bought yarn. I always do when trying something new. I hate to mess up and waste my handspun. It also gives me a better idea of how much I will need to spin for a particular project. I am currently working on some crocheted socks. I found some varigated yarn at the store in the "clearance bin" and snatched them up. I made socks for my girls out of the yarn and they turned out great! I can't wait to spin a whole mess of yarn up from my wool, especially the angora.

The only thing I dread about this trip is some dealings I am going to have to have with my family. Long story and I won't go into it right now, but basically I am, always have been and always will be the black sheep of the family. I am going to visit with my grandmother for possibly the last time. She needs to see the children and I need to let her know, that she is the only thing (and that is not very strong) that is holding me to this family. After my grandfather became seriously ill and died it has all been falling apart. My family refuses to have anything to do with me or my family, lest they appear to "be taking sides." That is so laughable. Anyway, I am going to let her know that after she is gone, I am burning the bridge. I don't feel like there is anything worth salvaging. They have let me know where I stand in this family and that is ok. Gosh it all sounds so bitter doesn't it? I have wrestled with it for so long and it is really doing more harm than good trying to hold onto a relationship with my family that doesn't exist. It is taking it's toll on the children as well. I try to hide it from them but we all know kids are a lot "swoofter" than we are when it comes to emotions and things like this. They have actually come to me and asked questions about the whole thing. I was not graphic but shared my story. The wedge my family has placed between us has made the children feel unloved and unwanted; by their own admission not mine. To quote my children "If they don't want you, we don't want them, mom." I keep praying for reconciliation and mending, but perhaps my children won't harbor any animosity and if the day ever comes, can regain a part of their family they have been cheated out of. Well, I guess I need to quit being a chicken about things and call my grandmother to let her know we will be in town over the Memorial Day weekend and ask if she will be home and even wants to see us. It could be my mom will be in town and she will tell me to not come in that case. If you feel led to, please pray for me and my family.
Until later, God Bless!